4 Reasons Why the Wonder Twins Are Superior to the Transformers

Sure they were creepy Donny and Marie look-alikes who had to touch each other to activate their Wonder Twin powers, but the Superfriends’ Zan and Jayna were the original “transformers” (at least to kids in the U.S.) and deserve respect. So before you go off thinking those robots in disguise are so freakin’ cool, here are the four reasons why the Wonder Twins are superior to the Transformers.

1) THE NEW ORIGINALS
It didn’t do Native Americans any good either, but the Wonder Twins were here first — and that should count for something. They made their debut in 1977, way before anyone ever heard of robots transforming into cars or toasters. When the kids of the ’70s thought of transforming, they thought of those alien teenagers from the Superfriends. The Transformers first appeared in 1984, but by then the Wonder Twins were already well along the path to obscurity.

2) VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE
The Wonder Twins could transform into anything — as long as it was a form of water or an animal. Zan (the male twin) could take the form of a snowball, a glacier, Perrier, even weather patterns. Jayna could transform into any animal, whether real or mythical. The mighty Transformers usually transform into only one other form, like a car or a cassette player. I think a kangaroo and a frozen bowling ball trumps an F-15 Eagle any day.

3) SIDE-KICKS
It’s been proven time and time again, a pet space monkey is cooler than some kid named Spike. Gleek not only provided comic relief; he conveniently provided a bucket whenever Zan took the form of watery substances. Otherwise, who knows how many lawsuits would have been brought against the Justice League by people slipping on Zan.

4) CATCHPHRASES
“Wonder Twin powers, activate!” This was more than a catchphrase, these were the magical words that allowed Zan and Jayna to transform. The line has taken on a life of its own and is more popular than the Wonder Twins themselves. Compared to the fabulousness of the Wonder Twins catchphrase, the Transformers’ “Autobots, transform — and roll out!” is, well, unfabulous.

Posted in Humor, Television, The 4 Spot | 3 Comments »

THE 4: Reasons to Love Spider-Man

There are actually 73 reasons to love Spider-Man, but due to time constraints and laziness I have reduced them to the 4 most important. If you have other reasons for loving Spidey, please share them.

1) The Nerdiness
	Superman pretended to be a nerd. Spider-Man was a nerd. Peter Parker was a socially inept kid, a complete dork that you could relate to. That was the brilliance of Stan Lee’s creation and the only reason why Tobey Maguire can star in a superhero movie without being laughed off the screen. It also put every geek on the lookout for a radioactive spider.

2) The Villains
	You can be the coolest superhero in the universe, but if your enemies are crap, then you might as well hang it up. From Doc Ock to the Lizard to Sandman, Spider-Man battles the baddest baddies. The Green Goblin scared the pants off me as a kid, so it was probably good that Venom wasn’t around during my childhood years.

3) The Suit
	A superhero is only as good as his costume. If you have a lame get-up, you have a lame superhero. Whether it’s black or red and blue, Spidey has one of the most kick-ass costumes in comicdom. There’s an Iron Spider-Man suit kicking around now that I’m not too crazy about, but two out of three ain’t bad. Either way, Spidey is all about the suit.

4) The Theme
	“Spider-Man, Spider-Man / Does whatever a spider can / Spins a web, any size / Catches thieves just like flies / Look out, here comes the Spider-Man…” In its toe-tapping elegance, the theme to the 1967 Spider-Man cartoon has been branded into the synapses of every Spidey fan. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Posted in Comic Books, Movies, The 4 Spot | 3 Comments »

THE 4: Reasons Why Entourage Is the Coolest

HBO’s “Entourage” is back. Vince, Eric, Drama, and Turtle are still living large in La La Land. And we love it. Here are some reasons (4 to be exact) why it’s TV’s coolest half hour…

1) Jeremy Piven
	As agent Ari Gold, Jeremy Piven is the most lovable bastard on TV. Every episode he delivers the best lines and the best insults since Archie Bunker. My personal favorites: “Let’s hug it out, bitch.” “Got Milf?” “Hilary Swank has a vagina, but she won an Oscar pretending she has a dick. That’s what actors do. They pretend.”

2) Kevin Dillon
	Kevin Dillon, the less successful brother of actor Matt Dillon, portrays the less successful brother of actor Vincent Chase (Adrian Grenier). It’s the role he was born to play. He’s the lovable loser to Ari’s lovable bastard. He’s pathetic and he hasn’t been funnier since “Heaven Help Us.” And that was in 1985.

3) Hot Chicks
	Sure, there’s Emmanuelle Chriqui, Carla Gugino, and even Mandy Moore. But the babes I’m talking about are the ones whose names you don’t remember. There are always a gaggle of hot babes on “Entourage” as the boys go on the prowl. And they’re often naked! The babes, I mean.

4) Male Bonding
	We’re not talking about Ari and Lloyd here. The heart and soul of the show is the camaraderie between Vince, Eric, Drama, and Turtle and their adventures in La La Land as they hang out, hook up, and have fun spending lots of cash. It’s the life every red-blooded American man is dying for. But that’s why we have TV. Thank you, HBO.

Posted in Television, The 4 Spot | 4 Comments »

THE 4: Reasons Why Battlestar Galactica Rocks

There are plenty more reasons why Battlestar Galactica rocks. But the name of the feature is “The 4,” and it would be weird to break the rules when this is the first one. So, let’s get to it…

1) Cylons
	Battlestar Galactica has redefined the robot (affectionately known as a toaster). The new breed of Cylon is complex, emotional, unpredictable, and super hot! They make for some scary villains, but, boy, do you like them. And the non-humanoid, shiny metal Cylons are some of the coolest and scariest robots since Gort.

2) Baltar
	No matter what evil crap Baltar does, you have to love him. That’s the strength of the character and James Callis plays it to perfection. Baltar is the greatest bad guy ever to grace the small screen, and what makes him so great is that he might not really be a bad guy after all. A complex, compelling, and at times hilarious character, Baltar makes BSG rock. Hard.

3) Writing
	No show can be great without great writing. And Battlestar Galactica has heaps of great writing. Besides its suspense and action, BSG is great drama, full of colorful and complex characters. This is no space opera. It’s just flat-out great storytelling. Take that, George Lucas!

4) Frak
	How frakking awesome is a show that wants to curse so bad that it creates its own dirty word? I almost died laughing when I heard “motherfrakker” on one episode. “Frack” was used on the original series, but the reimagined show has taken it to new heights and dropped off the “c” to make it a four-letter word. Genius!

Posted in Television, The 4 Spot | No Comments »