I saw “The Hunger Games” Monday night, which is unusual for two reasons: 1) I rarely go to the movies and 2) I never go to the movies on weeknights. Obviously, this was a special occasion. Unfortunately, “The Hunger Games” was not a special movie. Far from it, actually. I found it to be a bloodless “Battle Royale” and a somber “Running Man.” Too bad, because I liked the book. I wasn’t blown away by it. (I’m not a 12-year-old who’s never read a dystopian novel before.) Still, I thought it was a very good SF action tale.

What didn’t work for me in the movie was the plodding melodrama and the attempt at foisting a social consciousness onto a popcorn flick. “The Hunger Games” isn’t “1984″ or “The Road.” It’s a silly, water-downed YA adventure whose main conceit is kids hunting kids in the woods. The movie takes great pains to convey a sense of importance with its allusions to current social and political turmoil. But even there it fails. It really has nothing to say about the ills of our world, not with any substance. It’s neither dark nor fun. Come on, a reality show that pits teens in a battle to the death is absurd. (At least for the time being.) The movies that already trod this ground, “Battle Royale” and “The Running Man,” were in on the joke — they were satires. Skewering reality TV, competition, bloodlust, our desire for spectacle. And they had fun doing it. “The Hunger Games” movie takes itself too seriously. The book is no laugh riot either, but with its bleak atmosphere, moody soundtrack and brooding performances, the movie sends the melodrama over the top.

On a final note, it seemed the producers were so desperately trying to convince us the movie was IMPORTANT they forgot the main theme: Hunger. Whereas the book is filled with food, thoughts of food or the lack of food, the movie forgets its own title. The movie just left me hungry to see “Battle Royale” and “The Running Man” again.

I am convinced there is a conspiracy involving the “Paranormal Activity” hype.

I heard all the raves and the hyperbolic statements, like ” ‘Paranormal Activity’ is the most terrifying movie you’ll ever see,” or some crazy thing along those lines. So Saturday I went to see the movie, which was reportedly made for $15,000. And what I saw did scare the hell out of me…because I realized that all the hype was complete bullshit — and if it was authentic, then the world is full of idiots who have no idea what a good movie is.

“Paranormal Activity” was the most boring, un-terrifying movie I ever sat through. The rest of the audience obviously felt the same, as halfway through, people began blatantly talking on cellphones or to each other, and no one cared — not even me, and I hate when people do that in a theater. It took thirty mind-numbing minutes or so for the first scary moment to occur: a bedroom door creeks. That’s followed by such terrifying moments as a loud bang, footsteps, an even louder bang. During one of the movie’s supposed “big moments,” the audience actually burst into laughter. After the movie, we all filed out of the theater feeling ripped off, with a number of people saying out loud what a horrible, worthless movie we had just sat through. If “Paranormal Activity” scared you at all, it is probably because you have never seen another horror movie in your life. Or you think ladybugs are scary.

“Paranormal Activity” is as exciting as watching people sleep. Why is that? Because most of the movie takes place as the terrorized couple — Katie and Micah — sleeps.

This movie, which felt like a cheap online student film, has been getting such insane Internet buzz that it came out of nowhere and landed at No. 1 at the box office over the past weekend. Really? Really? Come on, really? I have to applaud DreamWorks for mounting what must be one of the greatest marketing schemes in history — and obviously paying off plenty of reviewers and 12-year-olds to talk the movie up on Twitter and Facebook.

Don’t believe the hype: “Paranormal Activity” is a snooze fest. The Internet has lied to us again. (Save your money and instead rent “Drag Me to Hell.”)

Twisted ToyFare Theater’s 10th Anniversary Collection is all kinds of awesome. Okay, it’s actually one kind of awesome: superhero dolls making potty jokes. But that’s more than enough.

If you’re not familiar with Twisted ToyFare Theater, it’s a photographic comic strip starring classic Mego superhero dolls of the 1970s and the cartoon-based toys of the 1980s. The strip, which appears every month in ToyFare magazine, inspired Adult Swim’s “Robot Chicken.” In fact, many of the early writers of Twisted ToyFare Theater went on to write “Robot Chicken.”

This 10th Anniversary Collection, published by Wizard Entertainment, features the 25 best strips in Twisted ToyFare Theater history. The zaniness includes a day in the life of Wolverine, supervillain Jeopardy, a pugilistic Alan Moore, zombie Smurfs, an uber-randy Capt. Kirk, a Jewish Thing, and a Mexican Spider-Man. But that’s not all. There are character bios, commentary, a brand-new strip that parodies “Inside the Actors Studio,” and much more. I haven’t laughed this much while reading since, well, I don’t think I ever laughed this much while reading.

If you’re a fan of “Robot Chicken,” if you’re a fan of Twisted ToyFare, if you’re a fan of Spider-Man in a sombrero, if you’re a fan of laughing your ass off, find your credit card immediately and order this book. Then thank me.

INCREDIBLE CHANGE-BOTS
Top Shelf Productions
Release Date: August 1, 2007
By Jeffrey Brown

“Incredible Change-Bots,” a graphic novel by writer and artist Jeffrey Brown, is a gut-busting parody/tribute to the animated Transformers series of the ’80s. Fans unhappy with Michael Bay‘s movie will probably prefer Brown’s screwball handling of the robots in disguise, who are featured more prominently in this story than their big-screen counterparts.

The story is familiar to Transformers fans. “Far away in space, there is a planet full of robots able to change from robot form to vehicle form — the Incredible Change-Bots! Leaving their war-torn planet, the Change-Bots arrive on Earth, where their battle continues.” The Autobots here are replaced with the Awesomebots, led by Big Rig, and their enemies are the Fantasticons, led by the maniacal Shootertron. They spend most of the story fighting each other over energy cubes, and skewering the Transformers legacy.

“Incredible Change-Bots” captures the true spirit and silliness of the original Transformers. It’s part parody, part nostalgic tribute. Jeffrey Brown does a great job of returning the reader to the era of the original Transformers and showing what made them so awesome and so silly. It’s a hilarious and fun look at those robots in disguise.

ZODIAC
Release Date: July 24
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Chloe Sevigny
Director: David Fincher
Length: 158 minutes

I the late ’60s a serial killer dubbed the Zodiac terrorized Northern California. Much like the Son of Sam a decade later, he sent taunting letters and cryptic messages to the press. He was never caught. The films stars Jake Gyllenhaal as Robert Graysmith, who was a cartoonist for the San Francisco Chronicle at the time and who later wrote the true-crime book “Zodiac,” which is the basis for the movie.

“Zodiac” is highlighted by fine performances, especially from Robert Downey Jr. as Paul Avery, the alcoholic reporter for the Chronicle. But the movie suffers from a lack of focus. For about the first two hours, the film follows the investigation of the Zodiac murders. The purported lead character, Graysmith, merely “looms” around the action and has nothing of significance to do. The killings stop and the investigation goes nowhere. Enter Graysmith and the second part of this unintentional double feature. Graysmith, obsessed with the case, begins his own investigation, which leads him to write his true crime book. I found myself uninterested after the first investigation and couldn’t wait for the second one to end.

URCHIN From first-time director John Harlacher, “Urchin” is an urban fantasy that follows the quest of a homeless boy from the underground world of Scum City. | $17.99

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (Season 2) This six-disc set collects all the second season episodes of the Linda Hamilton – Ron Perlman fantasy series. | $32.99

THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 More gratuitous violence from those cannibal mutants in the desert. | $18.99

GUNSMOKE (Season 1) The classic and long-running TV Western “Gunsmoke” hits DVD in this six-disc, 39-episode set from Paramount Home Video. | $26.99