The 10 Coolest ‘Fictional’ Trucks

Optimus Prime is getting all the attention with the hype surrounding the “Transformers” movie. But what of those trucks that have come before and after the great Autobot leader? Blogzarro has scoured the world of movies, television, and comics to compile a list of the coolest trucks ever assembled. Here, I present another useless, idiotic list. Enjoy!

1 | OPTIMUS PRIME (Transformers) Optimus isn’t just a damn truck. Aintcha heard, junior? He’s a robot in disguise. That makes Optimus Prime twice as cool as these other mere mortal trucks. How do you compete with a semi-truck equipped with a big-ass gun? Plus, he could kick any of these other guys’ tailpipes with one hand tied behind his back. However, I always thought the coolest thing about Prime was his deep, authoritative voice. But then I learned that Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime) is also the voice of Eeyore. So I can’t watch Winnie the Pooh without thinking, “Eeyore is freakin’ Optimus Prime!” Consequently, Eeyore has now become cooler than Tigger, but still not as cool as Piglet.

2 | GOLIATH (Knight Rider) Coolness factor? Other than the fact that Goliath was driven by an evil, goateed David Hasselhoff, aka Garthe Knight? Because it doesn’t get any better than that in my book. Thousands of young fanboys in the ’80s gasped when they thought KITT was down for the count after a collision with Goliath. Plus, the Knight Rider race track was the most highly anticipated Christmas gift of my childhood and allowed me to recreate the famed collision in my own home.

3 | ROAD RAGE TANK TRUCK (Duel) Before “Jaws,” Steven Spielberg brought terror to the highway with “Duel,” a 1971 TV movie about a businessman terrorized by a psycho in a rusty Peterbilt tank truck. This was way before anyone ever heard of the phrase “road rage” or the name Steven Spielberg. Think of “Duel” as “Jaws” on the highway.

(more…)

Posted in Comic Books, Movies, Television | 42 Comments »

Weekend Box Office: Ratatouille Serves Up a Win

Pixar’s latest animated movie, “Ratatouille,” beat out Bruce Willis’s return as John McClane in “Live Free or Die Hard” at the weekend box office.

“Ratatouille,” about a rat who wants to be a gourmet chef, earned $47.2 million in its opening weekend. That’s the lowest opening for a Pixar movie in nine years.

The first “Die Hard” movie in 12 years took in $33.2 million in its opening weekend and $48 million since opening on Wednesday.

“Evan Almighty” continued to perform poorly at the box office. The most expensive comedy ever produced saw its gross drop by 52% from last weekend. The movie, which cost $175 million to make, has earned $60.6 million in 10 days.

Posted in Movies, News | 12 Comments »

DVD Report: Dead Silence

DEAD SILENCE
Release Date: June 26
Starring: Ryan Kwaten, Donnie Wahlberg
Director: James Wan
Length: 91 minutes

Plot holes sink what could have been a classic ghost tale. After his wife is murdered, Jamie Ashen (Ryan Kwaten) returns to his spooky and fog-drenched hometown, where he uncovers the mystery of Mary Shaw, a dead ventriloquist who sought to create the perfect doll. Donnie Wahlberg co-stars as the incredulous cop who suspects Jamie of murdering his wife, and who, for some reason, constantly shaves his face with an electric razor. Kwaten is uninteresting but Wahlberg and his electic razor add some personality. There are plenty of creepy moments, most of which come via doll heads slowly turning or the face of Mary Shaw in the shadows. But there are plenty of cliches and lazy storytelling, too. The pulse-pounding ending almost makes up for the rest of the film. I expected more, though, from the writing and directing team (Leigh Whannell and James Wan) of “Saw.” If you don’t ask too many nagging questions, you’ll get sufficiently creeped out and probably leave the lights on for the next few nights.

DVD GOODIES
Included are an alternate beginning and an alternate ending, which, after you watch it, will make you understand why they didn’t use it; deleted scenes; and a making-of featurette.

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN This two-disc set contains all the episodes from the first Superman animated TV series. Circa 1966. JUNE 26 | $19.99

BLACK SNAKE MOAN Samuel L. Jackson chains Christina Ricci to a radiator in this tale of the blues and redemption. Read Blogzarro’s review here. JUNE 26 | $17.99

SHOOTER Donnie’s little brother Mark Wahlberg stars as a marksman framed for the assassination of the president. JUNE 26 | $17.99

STANDING STILL The tale of a young couple the night before their wedding. Starring Amy Adams and Adam Garcia. JUNE 26 | $17.99

Posted in DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 1 Comment »

The Greatest Movies I’ve Never Seen

The American Film Institute recently released its new list of the 100 greatest movies of all time. It turns out that I’ve seen 83 of these so-called great movies (for you math whizzes, that’s 83%). So, why the hell haven’t I seen those other 17 movies? It’s not like I’m doing anything special. And since the AFI says these are the greatest movies of all time, I guess I’m really missing out. Here are the 17 greatest movies I have never seen and the reasons why I haven’t seen them (AFI rank at left).

7. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA | Too freakin’ long.

11. CITY LIGHTS | There’s just so many silent films a person can tolerate in his lifetime, and I filled my quota.

18. THE GENERAL | Silent. Comedy. Sounds like mime to me. Next!

26. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON | It’s the 21st century. This rah-rah-rah Jimmy Stewart feel-good, sappy crap just pisses me off.

28. ALL ABOUT EVE | The only men who enjoy this film wear eyeliner and tweeze their eyebrows.

29. DOUBLE INDEMNITY | I would like to see this, but I always wanted to read the book first. And I haven’t read the book, so…

44. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY | Katherine Hepburn gives me the creeps.

46. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT | Yeah, but it ain’t happening tonight. Romantic comedies aren’t my cup of tea and romantic comedies from the ’30s are even less so.

49. INTOLERANCE | A 163-minute silent movie by the director of “Birth of a Nation”? I could watch “Highlander” and half of “Flash Gordon” in that time. I’ll pass.

59. NASHVILLE | Nashville is the capital of country music. I hate country music. Therefore, I’ve stayed away from this movie.

61. SULLIVAN’S TRAVELS | Don’t know anything about it. Don’t care.

(more…)

Posted in Humor, Movies | 9 Comments »

Weekend Box Office: Evan Almighty Not So Mighty

“Evan Almighty,” the most expensive comedy ever produced with a $175 million budget, opened in first place with a lower-than-expected tally of $32.1 million. That’s the lowest total for a No. 1 opening weekend this summer. The comedy, starring Steve Carell, is based on “Bruce Almighty,” which opened with $68 million in 2003.

The haunted hotel room flick “1408,” based on a Stephen King short story, opened in second with $20.2 million. It stars John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson.

“Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer” saw a 65 percent drop-off in its second weekend, going from first to third with $20.1 million. The superhero sequel has made $97.6 million in 10 days.

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DVD Report: Black Snake Moan

BLACK SNAKE MOAN
Release Date: June 26
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci, Justin Timberlake
Director: Craig Brewer
Length: 115 minutes

Under the surface of “Black Snake Moan”’s exploitative scenario — a bitter bluesman imprisoning a scantily clad woman by chaining her to a radiator — there’s a smart movie. Though, it seems writer/director Craig Brewer (”Hustle and Flow”) wasn’t sure whether to make his film an all-out ode to the trashy movies of the ’70s or a serious drama about redemption. Jackson stars as Lazarus, a former bluesman and current farmer who finds the town hussy, Rae (Christina Ricci), beaten and left unconscious on the road near his home. Tormented by his wife’s recent betrayal, he decides to nurse Rae back to health and exorcise her sexual demons. Ricci spends most of the film crawling and strutting around in her panties. Jackson is his usual mofo-swearing self. But the cast members turn in strong performances, saving “Black Snake Moan” from being a completely ridiculous movie. Despite its flaws, it’s an interesting and unique movie, full of sex and the blues, and if you ever wanted to see Christina Ricci in panties and chains this is the perfect opportunity.

DVD GOODIES
Commentary by writer/director Craig Brewer; deleted scenes; and the featurettes “Conflicted: The Making of Black Snake Moan,” “Rooted in the Blues,” and “The Black Snake Moan,” a look at the title blues song.

THE MANHATTAN PROJECT (Special Edition) “The Manhattan Project” is the story of an overachieving high school student (Christopher Collet) who decides to show just how dangerously easy it is to construct a nuclear device. The bright teenager has high hopes of winning first prize at the science fair. Using his mother’s relationship with a government official (John Lithgow) to sneak into a secret facility and steal plutonium, he winds up creating a fully functional A-Bomb. When the government finds out about the device, they put in motion a series of events that threatens the nuclear annihilation of everyone within a 10-mile radius. This thrilling drama, first released in 1986, is packed with special features — including filmmaker audio commentary, “How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb: The Making of The Manhattan Project” featurette, “Home Made Apocalypse” featurette, interviews with scientists at Jet Propulsion Laboratories and an ’80s trivia subtitle track. JUNE 19 | $14.99

RENO 911: MIAMI The wacky TV cops from Comedy Central’s “Reno 911″ hit the big screen, where they must save the day after a terrorist attack disrupts a national police convention in Miami Beach during spring break. JUNE 19 | $16.99

THE BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA Two fifth-graders become friends and create the fantasy world Terabithia. Starring AnnaSophia Robb, Josh Hutcherson, and Zooey Deschanel. Based on the book by Katherine Paterson. JUNE 19 | $15.99

THE ABANDONED An American woman returns to her birthplace in Russia, seeking answers to her mysterious past and finds plenty of ghosts. Read Blogzarro’s review here. JUNE 19 | $26.09

Posted in DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 4 Comments »

Hayden Panettiere Is Hero of Wizard World Philadelphia

Wizard World Philadelphia convention highlighted by Hayden Panettiere and news of big changes for Spider-Man comics.

“Heroes” star Hayden Panettiere was the queen of this past weekend’s Wizard World Philadelphia, which featured all-star comic panels, celebrities, gaming, costumed geeks and more. During a packed hour-long question-and-answer session Saturday Hayden gave fans an inside look at the hit NBC series and her character, the indestructible cheerleader Claire Bennet.

Hayden, however, skirted the biggest question of the afternoon, but hinted that we might see more of Zachary Quinto. When a young boy asked, “Is Sylar really dead,” Hayden coyly answered, “So it looks like he’s…hurt. But no show can go without a villain.”

She also hinted that she might get a love interest in season two. “I may get [a boyfirend]. I [told the writers], ‘Dudes, okay! That’s it! Everyone else on the show has a love interest, and I don’t get one? I killed my first one…unfortunately.”

With her character, Claire Bennet, being “killed” several times during last season, the 17-year-old actress admitted that she often felt like Kenny from “South Park.” “I always say I feel like a piece of steak. I get flayed and grilled and stir-fried. I knew when I read the pilot that my ability would allow me to be in the brunt of the action and the middle of the explosions and fire, which was very appealing to me…. It’s always cool to find out what limbs are falling off next.”

Hayden even wowed the audience with a performance of “The Star-Spangled Banner” after a young man asked her to prove her singing skills (check out a clip of her performance on YouTube). Hayden, by the way, has an album coming out later this year.

The weekend also featured several comic book panels, which included such bigwigs as Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada and writer Brian Michael Bendis. The big news over the weekend was the change in format for Spider-Man titles. Marvel announced the follow-up to the Spider-Man story arc “One More Day.” It’s called “Brand New Day” and Marvel is changing things up a bit for it. They’ll be combining all the Spider-Man titles into “Amazing Spider-Man,” which will ship three times a month. “Spider-Man comes out three times a month,” Quesada explains. “It just came out under the titles ‘Amazing,’ ‘Friendly [Neighborhood],’ and ‘Sensational Spider-Man.’ All we’re doing is calling it ‘Amazing’ all the time. Instead of it being three separate story lines, it’s one continuous story line.” Marvel also recently released the promo image for “Brand New Day,” at right.

The big news from DC was the announcement of a Parallax one-shot comic. Also announced were three comics covering the impending nuptials of Green Arrow and Black Canary — “Green Arrow/Black Canary Wedding Special,” “Black Canary Wedding Planner,” and “Justice League Wedding Special.” (more…)

Posted in Comic Books, Movies, News, Television | 10 Comments »

Weekend Box Office: Fantastic Four Rises to No. 1

Despite a bunch of bad reviews, “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer” trampled the competition at the box office. The superhero sequel, starring Jessica Alba and Ioan Gruffudd, earned $57.4 million, which bests the first film’s $56 million debut in 2005. “Fantastic Four” went on to make $155 million.

The weekend’s other new release, “Nancy Drew,” opened in seventh place with $7.1 million. The mystery flick stars Emma Roberts as the teen detective.

Last weekend’s No. 1 movie, “Ocean’s Thirteen,” was a distant second with $19.1 million. The heist sequel, starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon, raised its total to $69.8 million.

The Judd Apatow comedy “Knocked Up” remained in third with $14.5 million. It’s earned $90.5 million since it was released on June 1.

Posted in Movies, News | 4 Comments »

DVD Report: The Abandoned

THE ABANDONED
Release Date: June 19
Starring: Anastasia Hille, Karel Roden
Director: Nacho Cerdà
Length: 94 minutes
Price: $26.09

You need to stick with “The Abandoned.” It’s a slow-moving horror-thriller that builds tension and chills as it moves along. Part of After Dark’s “8 Films to Die For” festival, “The Abandoned” is about an American woman who returns to her birthplace in Russia, seeking answers to her mysterious past. While there, she meets a man who claims to be her twin brother and together they encounter ghosts and the horrible events that led to their home being abandonded and uninhabited for the last 40 years. The movie works more on a psychological level and doesn’t focus much on the blood and gore as most horror movies do today, which is refreshing. It delivers the creeps the good ol’ fashioned way.

DVD GOODIES
Includes the featurette “The Making of The Abandoned.”

Not long into the movie, you realize the filmmakers squandered a golden opportunity. I got a thrill when I noticed that the cops investigating Richard Speck’s murders were played by Andrew “Wishmaster” Divoff and Tony “Candyman” Todd. So, I’m thinking, The movie I want to see is “Wishmaster Vs. Candyman.” Okay, I got that off my chest… “Chicago Massacre: Richard Speck” is the tale of a drifter (Corin Nemic) responsible for one of the worst mass murders in history. Speck beat, raped, stabbed, and shot a group of student nurses in one night of brutality in 1966. Nemic (”Parker Lewis Can’t Lose”) does an admirable job playing the psycho Speck and it’s always cool to listen to Divoff talk. But I’d only recommend the movie to fans of such low-budget serial killer flicks as “Ed Gein” or “Dahmer.” DVD special features include audio commentary with director Michael Feifer and Corin Nemic as well as a stills gallery. Currently available | $19.99

GHOST RIDER Nicloas Cage stars as Johnny Blaze, a stunt cylist who makes a pack to save a loved one and ends up as the Ghost Rider. Also starring Eva Mendes, Sam Elliott, Donal Logue. JUNE 12 | $22.99

HELLBOY: BLOOD AND IRON Hellboy, Liz Sherman, and Abe Sapien battle demons in the second animated movie based on Mike Mignola’s comic. Featuring the voices of Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, John Hurt. JUNE 12 | $14.99

BREACH The story of FBI agent Eric O’Neill (Ryan Phillippe), whose first assignment is to spy on his boss, Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper). Based on a true story. JUNE 12 | $16.99

Posted in DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 1 Comment »

Weekend Box Office: Ocean’s 13 Is No. 1

“Ocean’s Thirteen” was the No. 1 movie in the country over the weekend. The heist sequel, starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon, earned $37.1 million in its debut, knocking “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” to second place. “Ocean’s Thirteen”’s opening is on par with the first two films in the franchise.

“Pirates,” which held the top spot for the last two weekends, earned $21.3 million, raising its total to $254 million.

“Knocked Up” continued to perform strongly. The comedy dropped from second to third with $20 million. Its 10-day total stands at $66.2 million.

The weekend’s other new releases, “Surf’s Up” and “Hostel: Part II,” had moderate success. The animated penguin flick “Surf’s Up” opened with $18 million, landing in fourth place, and the horror sequel “Hostel: Part II” made $8.8 million, good for sixth.

Posted in Movies, News | 10 Comments »

Blogzarro Question #8

How come whenever a movie killer chases you in the woods, you always take a quick glance behind you…you inevitably stumble and fall…and as you look up — there’s the psycho standing right in front of you?

Guys like Jason and Michael Myers know you’re going to look back and fall — that’s why you never see them run after anyone. They just saunter after their victims, wait for them to take a spill, and then splat!

The moral of the story: never look back.

Posted in Blogzarro Questions, Humor, Movies | 7 Comments »

DVD Report: Highlander - The Search for Vengeance

HIGHLANDER - THE SEARCH FOR VENGEANCE
Release Date: June 5
Starring: Alistair Abell
Director: Yoshiaki Kawajiri
Length: 85 minutes

There can be only one, huh? The makers of Highlander never took that line seriously as they’ve churned out four movies, two TV series, numerous novels, comic books, and a 1994 animated series. Now, the Highlander franchise heads into the world of anime with mixed results.

Legendary anime director Yoshiaki Kawajiri (”Ninja Scroll,” “Neo-Tokyo”) re-imagines the Highlander legend in the direct-to-DVD movie “Highlander - The Search for Vengeance.” The story follows Colin (not Connor) MacLeod of the clan MacLeod from the 2nd century, where he fights the Immortal Roman bad guy Marcus to the late 22nd century, where he fights Marcus, the Immortal leader of post-apocalyptic New York City. For 2,000 years the Highlander has been fruitlessly seeking revenge on Marcus for killing his wife, but once he hooks up with Dahlia, a woman very reminiscent of his dead wife, it looks like he might have a chance.

There are plenty of superficial similarities to the original “Highlander” movie. Like the original, the movie interweaves the Highlander’s past with his present. There’s a spirit who guides MacLeod, reminiscent of the character Ramirez, played by Sean Connery in the first film. But “The Search for Vengeance” (written by David Abramowitz) doesn’t add anything new to the Highlander mythos. In fact, there’s a bunch of stuff missing. The line “There can be only one” is often repeated, but its significance is never explained. In the original the Immortals fight each other for a “prize.” The last Immortal with his head still intact wins. Yet there’s no competition or prize in this story. So why can there be only one? Other key Highlander concepts aren’t explained either, like the Immortals, the Quickening, or the beheadings. It should leave non-Highlander fans scratching their heads. Also, there’s no music by Queen, which is a disappointment when I watch any movie, but particularly Highlander flicks.

It’s not all bad, though. There are some amazing (and violent) scenes and visuals, especially the swordfights. And I always love when cartoon characters curse and get naked. Not as bad as “Highlander: The Quickening” but certainly not as good as “Highlander,” “The Search for Vengeance” is an uneven but still enjoyable addition to the saga of that sword-wielding Scotsman we all love.

DVD GOODIES
Contains the featurettes “East Meets West: Filmmakers Crossing Borders” and “A Talk With Kawajiri,” as well as trailers and production stills. PRICE: $12.99

NORBIT Eddie Murphy plays three characters in this wacky movie about a loser who’s terrorized by his monstrous wife. Read Blogzarro’s review here. JUNE 5 | $16.99

THE MESSENGERS A family moves into a spooky house on a sunflower farm. Starring Kristin Stewart, Dylan McDermott, Penelope Ann Miller, and John Corbett. JUNE 5 | $17.99

THE FANTASTIC FOUR - EXTENDED CUT This two-disc special edition adds 20 minutes of footage to the 2005 superhero movie. Also includes a 100-minute making-of documentary and a look at this summer’s sequel. JUNE 5 | $16.99

THE DEAD ZONE (Season 5) The three-disc set contains all 11 episodes of the USA Network series starring Anthony Michael Hall as Johnny Smith, a man who awakens from a coma and learns he has psychic abilities. JUNE 5 | $22.99

SURF SCHOOL (Unrated) Teen comedy featuring the ultimate Cinderella story, killer waves, lessons on the psychedelic ways of the ’60s and plenty of sexy unrated footage to make even the most randy boy have a wipeout! Starring Harland Williams. JULY 17 | $18.99

THE LONG WEEKEND Overworked advertising executive Ed Waxman (Brendan Fehr) has just 48 hours to come up with a great new ad campaign or he’ll be fired. However, his babe-magnet brother, Cooper (Chris Klein) has another idea — get his stressed out brother lucky with the ladies. With hope and luck on their side, maybe — just maybe — he’ll be able to save his job and have sex, all in the course of one outrageous weekend. JULY 24 | $24.29

Posted in DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 8 Comments »

Weekend Box Office: Pirates Holds On

“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” saw a big drop-off in its second weekend but still held on to lead the box office with $43.2 million. Its 10-day gross is at $216.5 million, well below the pace of “Dead Man’s Chest.”

The comedy “Knocked Up,” starring Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl, was surprisingly strong in its debut with $29.3 million, landing it in second place. “Knocked Up,” directed by Judd Apatow, played in about 1,500 fewer theaters than “Pirates” but averaged 300 dollars more per theater. The thriller “Mr. Brooks,” starring Kevin Costner as a serial killer, opened in fourth with $10 million.

Meanwhile, “Spider-Man 3″ dropped from third to fifth with $7.5 million, raising its total to $318 million. That puts it at No. 17 on the all-time list, right behind “The Lion King.”

Posted in Movies, News | 7 Comments »

DVD Report: Norbit

NORBIT
Release Date: June 5
Starring: Eddie Murphy, Thandie Newton, Eddie Griffin, Marlon Wayans
Director: Brian Robbins
Length: 102 minutes

Critics panned “Norbit” when it was in theaters, but the comedy went on to gross $95 million at the box office. It’s one of those comedies you either love or hate. As a baby, Norbit’s parents throw him out of a moving car and he rolls in front of the Golden Wonton Orphanage, where he is raised. If you laugh at this point, you’ll probably enjoy the film. If not…it will be a long 102 minutes. Norbit’s life is all downhill from there. Rasputia, a beast of a woman and the butt of endless fat jokes, makes Norbit’s life hell. But there’s hope when his childhood sweetheart (Thandie Newton) returns to town. There are a few too many fat jokes and the character of Norbit is underwhelming, but there are plenty of funny moments and watching Eddie Murphy play multiple characters (Norbit, Rasputia, and Mr. Wong) is always a riot. But it’s the supporting cast that really shines. Eddie Griffin is hilarious playing — what else? — a pimp. Marlon Wayans has a brief but inspired role as a fast-talking exercise instructor. Even Eddie’s older brother, Charlie Murphy (who helped write the screenplay), gets into the act as the voice of Floyd the dog. It’s broad, juvenile humor. If you don’t take your comedy too seriously, you’ll probably love “Norbit.”

DVD GOODIES
Extras include 14 deleted scenes and the featurettes “Man of a Thousand Faces” and “The Stunts of Norbit.” But make sure to check out “Power Tap,” Marlon Wayans’ mock infomercial, probably the funniest thing on the DVD.

HANNIBAL RISING The story of how Hannibal Lecter became a cannibal serial killer. Read Blogzarro’s review here.

F TROOP SEASON 2 This six-disc set collects the 31 episodes from the 1965 season of the classic sitcom about a wacky cavalry troop.

ICHI THE KILLER: BLOOD PACK Two-disc uncut special edition of director Takashi Miike’s 2001 movie about a sadistic Yakuza killer.

Posted in DVDs, Movies, Reviews | 4 Comments »

Weekend Box Office: Pirates’ Booty

“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” failed to beat the records recently set by “Spider-Man 3″ and “Shrek the Third.” The third “Pirates” movie earned $115.1 million in its first three days of release, while Spidey took in $151.1 million and Shrek grossed $121.6 million. But “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” did set another record — best four-day Memorial Day weekend opening. The movie earned $142.1 million, surpassing the previous record holder, “X-Men: The Last Stand,” which grossed $122.9 million last year.

Totals are for the four-day Memorial Day weekend, May 25-28.

Posted in Movies, News | 2 Comments »