Aphorisms, Truisms, and Bullshit

• Revenge is the best revenge.
• The fastest way to get from Point A to Point B is getting someone else to take you.
• Breasts demand attention.
• Ugly people are just beautiful people with horrible facial disfigurements.
• Smart people are just dumb people with better vocabularies.
• People shouldn’t be judged by the color of their skin, but by the size of their breasts, or their lack of breasts.
• The truth is a lie that hasn’t been discovered yet.
• There is more than one way to skin a cat, but only one way to kick it.

Posted in Humor, Jokes, One-Liners, Observations | 2 Comments »

More Bad Jokes

• One of the good things about being a thief: 100 percent profits.
• I like my women like my coffee…sweet, dark, and available at 7-Eleven for $1.45.
• I tried homosexuality, but I had to give it up. It was such a pain in the ass.

Posted in Humor, Jokes, One-Liners, Observations | 7 Comments »

Joke #3

Billy Joel smashed his car into another Long Island, New York home the other day. The Piano Man later said he got into the accident after realizing he was no longer sleeping with Christie Brinkley.

Posted in Jokes, One-Liners, Observations | 1 Comment »

Bumper Stickers

A bumper sticker I’d like to see: “My other car is just like this one, except it doesn’t have an asshole behind it reading a stupid bumper sticker.”

Posted in Humor, Jokes, One-Liners, Observations | 2 Comments »

Joke #2

I’m really depressed…because recently my one-man band broke up over creative differences.

Posted in Humor, Jokes, One-Liners, Observations | 1 Comment »

Joke #1

I asked God if he existed, but he didn’t answer me.

Posted in Humor, Jokes, One-Liners, Observations | No Comments »