A Crap to Remember
By James A. on August 25th, 2009
Have you ever taken a wicked dump, checked out the bowl, and felt swelling pride? As you stand over the toilet, teary eyed, the dark, bold stench of your waste invading your nostrils, you feel like a parent whose child has just made the honor roll. You think about getting a bumper sticker that says, “I am the proud parent of a five-pound bowel movement that stunk up my house for three days.” This happens to me at least three times a week. My bowel movements are my greatest achievements. As they are flushed away, I salute them. “Godspeed, crap!”
A nice, dark, pile of your own feces can be quite impressive, a work of art. Of course, another person’s crap is plain disgusting. That’s why a parent can love an ugly child. Just like that ugly child that massive log in your toilet is your responsibility. You created that shit. You gave birth to that load of crap. If not for you, it would not exist. So, don’t be ashamed, take pride in your shit. Go out there a create a masterpiece of feces.
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August 26th, 2009 at 5:45 am
oh well,this is very profound
August 26th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Man….I´m having lunch…was
August 26th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Funny.. and a hint of truth too! I often say to my wife,”I just delivered a 6 pounder” and of course the old “Lincoln Log” is a fave too. Occasionally my dump is so big I think it should have initials on it, like “R.M.S. Titanic” and in this case the RMS means,”Really Montrous Shit.”
December 12th, 2009 at 11:06 am
disgusting but cool.
December 24th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I ate a whole container of over 100 vivals of ravens revenge and took a rainbow dump. I showed it off for three days until my jealous girl friend flushed it.
February 18th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Okay that was hilarious and oh so true!
April 8th, 2010 at 11:44 am
I keep a camera in the bathroom so that I have a record of the really “good ones”. Just like a proud papa. I’m really proud when there is so much the mound is sticking up out of the water. And if it takes more than 2 flushes to get it out of the bowl, I am happy.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:58 am
Yep nothing quite as satisfying as watching the ole black banana do a couple of laps around the pool.
May 12th, 2010 at 11:29 pm
It’s human nature to always look down after you done crapping…I don’t know why, but I just do it and I think everyone does it as well. Russell Peters, a comedian, even jokes about it in one of his act.