Lame Superhero of the Week: The Elongated Man
By James A. on June 22nd, 2007
Real Name: Ralph Dibny
First Appearance: The Flash #112 (1960)
Aliases: The Ductile Detective, The Stretchable Sleuth
Creators: John Broome, Carmine Infantino
Lame Abilities: Elongating (of course), super-sleuthing, can do fabulous splits, never has to worry about erectile dysfunction
Like me, the Elongated Man was an accident. Editor Julius Schwartz okayed the creation of the character only because he didn’t realize that DC had acquired Plastic Man from Quality Comics four years earlier. Schwartz said he would have used Plastic Man as a supporting character in “The Flash” instead of the Elongated Man had he known. Nonetheless, the world got another Plastic Man. Then a year later, poor Ralph Dibny fell even further down the ladder of respectability. Another stretching superhero, Mr. Fantastic, made his debut and topped his predecessors in popularity. Now the Elongated was the No. 3 stretchy guy in comics.
It wasn’t anything as cool as acid or cosmic rays that gave Ralph Dibny his amazing powers. It was a soft drink. Ralph was obsessed with contortionists and wanted to learn their secret. He soon discovered that they all drank Gingold soda pop and that it had a mysterious ingredient, gingo fruit. So, Ralph isolated the ingredient and when he drank it in its concentrated form he had super elongating powers. Thereafter, Ralph must drink Gingold to continue stretching.
Like Plastic Man, the Elongated Man can stretch. Like Plastic Man, he was used for laughs. Like Plastic Man, he was in the Justice League. But unlike Plastic Man, he was one of the first married superheroes and the first to reveal his secret identity. Ralph and Sue Dibny were the Nick and Nora Charles (”The Thin Man”) of the comic book world, traveling the world and solving mysteries. But years later tragedy struck and Sue was murdered, a crime that figures prominently in two high-profile series — “Identity Crisis” and “52.”
The Elongated Man even appears in the Alex Ross mini-series “Justice,” in which he tries to justify his existence to his rival, Plastic Man. Threatened by Plastic Man’s appearance, Ralph tries to toss him out of the Justice League. “There can be two stretchy guys,” Plastic Man tells Ralph. “It’s okay.” “No, there can’t,” Ralph replies. “They don’t need you if they have me. And I don’t care if you were the first one with stretching powers.”
I know what the Highlander would have to say about this.
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June 22nd, 2007 at 9:14 am
There can be only one!!
June 22nd, 2007 at 10:28 am
Ok, I have been quite supportive of this Lame Superhero feature, especially that gem She-Thing, but I’m drawing the line here. I am personally insulted on behalf of Ralph Dibney. He is not lame! Anyone who gets their superpowers from a soft drink is ok in my book. His storyline in 52 was soooo awesome!!!!! I demand a retraction and a public apology. This time you’ve gone too far, my friend.
June 22nd, 2007 at 11:04 am
@Empress Eve
This is coming from someone who drinks way too much soda. The super powers ain’t coming!
June 22nd, 2007 at 3:04 pm
originally he sucked, but now he’s cool oK? He’s solid & he’s cool! He got attacked by a creepy effigy & got rid of Faust & Neron
June 22nd, 2007 at 3:10 pm
@Mister Sinister
I agree. Ralph Dibny was one of the best things about “52″ and they did a great job of making him edgy and cool. But I’m talking about the entire history of the Elongated Man, particularly classic Elongated Man. He’s long been considered a joke. In fact, in “Justice” Ralph gets frustrated because the Justice League treats him like a joke. And, come on, he was just another Plastic Man, but not as cool as Plastic Man. Not until a year ago, anyway.
June 23rd, 2007 at 5:48 pm
The worst thing about the elongated man is his name. I mean it IS descriptive but how lame does it sound? Watch out crime I’m eLONGating. Sounds nearly like super porn.
June 26th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
the Greatest thing about Enlongated Man is Dropping his name in conversation. My friend will be sitting on the couch next to me and ask me to grab the remote, i will reply “Who do i look like, Elongated Man?” which usually leads to a double take, because if you are going to use such a nerdy reference, you expect Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic or Plastic Man. i dunno, i think he is lame. Let us not forget other stretchy heroes like Coil Man (the impossibles) and Mr. Gum (the atomics)
June 26th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
@Ralph
I haven’t forgotten those other stretchy heroes. Does anyone remember Stretch Armstrong? Or still have one?
February 14th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Yeah, Elongated man is actually my least favorite DC superhero, while Plastic man is actually my favorite.
I still don’t trust Elongated man, even though Plastic Man was a mobster. Mr. gum and Flatman is alright, though.
December 12th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
You all are high. He’s an amazing detective. He’s a much more sophisticated character then he’s being given credit for here.