Blogzarro Question #11
By James A. on June 29th, 2007
Why is it that whenever somebody hears a creepy sound in a horror story, they always rattle off a laundry list of possible, innocuous explanations for it? “Oh, it must be that damn cat again.” Then the noise gets louder. “Hmmm. It doesn’t sound like Jinxy. Must be the wind.” Now, the noise is right outside the door and is followed by a demonic howl. “Damn kids must be watching TV again. I’ll just go back to reading this book.”
Then the monster eats the idiot.
Whenever I hear a strange sound at night, I immediately think, “Shit, it’s a fucking monster.” I then grab whatever is handy — usually a hockey stick or plastic fork — throw on all the lights, open all the closet doors, and wake up my wife, shouting, “There’s a fucking monster in the house!”
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June 29th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
ahaha! that is hilarious. but to answer your question, it is because all movie writers are idiots. they are the kind of people who do not think a monster will come and get them. And the kind of people who do not close refrigerator doors and car doors. they are the kind of people who will spend 30 seconds reassuring someone that it will be OK when they have only 45 seconds longer to dismantle the fucking bomb! lol. That is why. Perhaps if a rational person wrote a movie, then everything would make sense. But maybe it helps in cinema: if the person in the movie is doing something you do not want them to do, you can be drawn into the story. NO YOU IDIOT! DO NOT OPEN THAT CLOSET! YOU KNOW THE FUCKING MONSTER IS IN THERE! anyway, that is my take on the subject.
June 30th, 2007 at 2:21 am
It’s like Eddie Murphy said about haunted houses. If some demonic voice said, “Get out of this house,” you’d get the hell out of the house. And then the movie would be over.
June 30th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
The reason why they always think the noise is Jinxy the cat is because whenever there’s a strange noise, a hissing cat will then come flying through the air at the person. “Oh Jinxy, you scared me.” And that’s when Jason/Michael Myers/other miscellaneous killer/demons/ghosts/whatever will attack.
I like when the person will hear a noise and then throw open the closet door or the front door or the armoire door, but have NO weapon in their hand. Of course, the killer is never there, but what if someone WAS in there waiting to attack? What then?
October 8th, 2009 at 6:41 am
HAHA! I was reading this at work and started laughing at loud. All the customers in the lobby just looked at me like I was crazy! I guess it didnt help that I repeated, out loud, the line “Shit! It’s a fucking monster!” as I was laughing….mmmmm