Real Name: Robert L. Frank
First Appearance: USA Comics #1 (1941)
Affiliations: Liberty Legion, The Invaders, All-Winners Squadron
Creators: Al Avison, Al Gabriele
Lame Abilities: Super speed

No, his super power wasn’t radioactive urine. And the fact that his costume was bright yellow didn’t help matters, either. A super-urinater probably would have been much cooler. Unfortunately the Whizzer’s super ability was much more common. He was just really fast. Kind of like that other fast superhero over at DC.

Of course, there’s a lame origin story to go along with this. Young Robert Frank was in the African bush with his dad, Dr. Emil Frank, when he was bitten by a cobra. A mongoose killed the snake but was severly injured in the battle. Dr. Frank, fearing the worst for his son and remembering an old wive’s tale, injected Robert with the mongoose’s blood (hey, if Peter Parker could get the powers of an arachnid by being bit by a radioactive spider…). The good doctor immediately died of a heart attack and Robert attained super speed! He returned to the United States, took the name Whizzer, dressed himself in a yellow costume with bizarre wings on his cowl, and began a life of crime fighting — which had nothing to do with peeing on bad guys. (I can’t emphasize that point enough.)

He went on to marry fellow superhero Miss America, and at one point believed he was the father of Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch. Luckily for them, they were not. However, unluckily for Nuklo, a radioactive mutant monster, he was the offspring of the Whizzer.

The original Whizzer lasted only six years. His last appearance came in “All Winners” #21 in 1947. He was resurrected in the ’70s, and then finally killed off. The mystery of whether or not he peed really fast, too, was never solved.