Geek Honey of the Month: Captain Schoolgirl

She’s a superhero, a schoolgirl and she’s legal! It doesn’t get any better than that, people. Captain Schoolgirl attends Our Lady of Perpetual Bliss, where she protects the innocent and fights bullies, oversexed priests and nuns, and a psycho cheerleader named the Squealer. Sounds like my old high school, except for the sexy Captain Schoolgirl part. Cap is also a double threat in the world of entertainment, as the knee-high-sock-wearing hero stars in live-action movies and a comic (check out a clip of “The Adventures of Captain Schoolgirl” here). She says she likes milkshakes, patrolling school dances, comics, puppies and fellow bookworms. But it was her love of “Cabin Boy” that clinched it for me. But enough of my yakking. Here’s Blogzarro’s Geek Honey of May…

Captain Schoolgirl

Age: 18

Location: New York, NY

Height: 5-foot-8

Measurements: 34-26-36

Interests: Batman

Favorite Movies: Beetlejuice, Cabin Boy (it’s educational!), Mallratz

Favorite Books & Comics: Batman, Kabuki, The Maxx, Harley Quinn, Black Widow

Favorite Video Games: Read a book?

Heroes: Batman, Wonder Woman

How did you become Captain Schoolgirl?
I came to be out of the desires and wishes of all my professors and fellow students — they needed a hall monitor from heaven and thus I was born. Turns out there is more to worry about in school than patrolling school dances and handing out demerit slips.

What special powers/abilities do you have?
The most fine-tuned human abilities a la Captain America. Extreme intelligence. Spelling whiz. Razor-blade ruler of justice. Martial arts (in training!). Lightning-fast hall-pass writing.

Do you have a weakness?
Puppies, bookworms, midterms, and chocolate. And darklings.

How are you handling the death of Captain America? Do you fear for your own life?
100 bucks says Captain America’s not dead.

Would you care to tell us your secret identity?
What secret identity?

What’s the biggest problem facing Captain Schoolgirl?
The Squealer — cheerleader from hell. She constantly shrieks rumors through her menacing megaphone and it’s time someone stopped her.

Do you have a boyfriend?
There’s no time for flirtations with the amount of exams and papers we have these days. Boys are for study groups, if they can keep their heads on straight. Dunceboy (my sidekick) is the only boy in my life — and he’s too busy shooting spitballs at the Squealer!

Are men intimidated by a superheroine?
Boys certainly are! Men seem to be flabbergasted when I interrogate them. I guess that’s why girls have higher IQ’s.

What is it that makes a schoolgirl uniform so powerful?
It’s the socks. Everyone loves a good clean pair of knee highs!

[Are you a geeky girl? Are you hot? If you answered yes to both of those questions, you could become the next Geek Honey of the Month. Send pics to geekhoneys@blogzarro.com]

(23 votes, average: 8.09 out of 10)

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