I was disappointed with the movie adaptation of “Tenacious D,” another of my favorite bizarre TV shows. So, going into the “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters,” I was skeptical. The Adult Swim show runs about 15 minutes, has no plots, is full of repetitive jokes and disjointed scenes, and never has a resolution. Episodes usually just end cold. All well and good for a few minutes of entertainment. An adaptation to a full-length feature film could be a disaster.

The opening, a spoof on those “please, be courteous to your fellow moviegoers” cartoons, was hilarious. A heavy metal group of bizarre creatures sing a violent song about movie theater etiquette and advise you to take your seed (i.e., baby) outside, and run it over after the show. I was very optimistic at this point.

Then 15 minutes through the movie, I’m thinking two words: Fucking awesome!

If movies were only 15 minutes long, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters” would be one of the coolest films of all-time. But, unfortunately, writers Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis had another 70 minutes to fill.

After Master Shake (Dana Snyder), Meatwad (Dave Willis), and Frylock (Carey Means) battle a giant poodle, travel through time with Time Lincoln (Fred Armisen), and elude FBI agents, the “plot” kicks in. The Aqua Teens get their hands on an immortal exercise machine, the InsanoFlex. Though warned not to assemble it, the fast-food characters go right ahead anyway. Once assembled, the InsanoFlex traps Carl in its clutches. While it pumps up Carl past Lou Ferrigno proportions, it wreaks havoc on the world. As Master Shake, Meatwad, and Frylock try to stop the evil piece of exercise equipment, they learn of their true origins and their relationship to Dr. Weird. We’re also introduced to an unknown fourth member of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Chicken Bittle (Bruce Campbell), who met an untimely demise early in his career.

Most of the Aqua Teen’s TV cast made it into the movie. The Plutonians, along with the Cybernetic Ghost of the Past, are trying to get their hands on the InsanoFlex. The Mooninites, Ignignokt and Err, show up for no particular reason, but they fail to give the movie any spark. There’s even a Space Ghost cameo. But the most bizarre guest appearance has to be that of Rush drummer Neil Peart, who is the accomplice of a character named Walter Melon (Chris Kattan), who is an evil slice of watermelon. At the end of the movie, Peart’s Drum Solo of Life helps resurrect one of the fallen characters. So, that’s why he’s there, I guess.

The movie runs out of steam quickly and the laughs gradually diminish. The 87-minute running time seemed much longer. Like the TV show, the movie is only good for about 15 minutes. The rest is a stretch. Only hardcore fans should bother seeing this movie. But everyone should check out that opening number.

PREVIEW ROUNDUP:
Let’s take a look at the trailers I was forced to watch before the feature presentation.

• Transformers – Looks freaking awesome! Though trailers have fooled me in the past.
• The Condemned – Seems to be a “Battle Royale” rip-off starring wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin. Apparently, John Cena was busy.
• Superbad – Another geek-themed comedy from the guys who made “40-Year-Old Virgin.” Didn’t seem uproariously funny, but could be worth your time.