Top 10 Signs You Might Be a Gay Superhero
By James Aquilone on April 12th, 2006
10. You attained your super powers after receiving a hickey from a radioactive Ricky Martin.
9. Your secret lair was decorated by Carson Kressly.
8. You met your sidekick at a NAMBLA meeting.
7. Your super powers are having an awesome tan and the ability to skip an eight of a mile.
6. You once threatened to scratch out Magneto’s eyes.
5. You’re powerless against anything yellow, not for any special reason, but simply because it’s not your color.
4. You have smoother legs than Robin.
3. By day you’re a mild-mannered choreographer. By night you fight crime on the mean streets of the East Village.
2. You were kicked out of the X-Men for trying to manscape Wolverine. Then booted from the Avengers for fondling the Mighty Thor’s “hammer.”
1. You constantly piss off Bruce Banner so you can see the Hulk’s bare chest.
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February 4th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Top 10 Signs You Might Be a Gay Superhero Cowboy
10. You and two of yer buddies use your three 4WD 2 ton dually pickups to push an overturned gravel hauler at a dangerous intersection into the bar ditch.
9. You use a farm tractor to assist a difficult breach birth of a heifer.
8. You drive upon a range fire and unload the farm tractor from yer trailer and start plowing up firebreaks to help the volunteer fire department.
7. You use yer truck’s front winch to pull apart a tornado collapsed building to rescue those inside.
6. You use your truck to pull out a car trapped in rising flood waters.
5, You use your horse to to carry out elderly people from a flooded farm house.
4. You use your truck to pull out a sheriff deputie’s stuck patrol car.
3. You lasso down a dog that bit a small kid.
2. You use your truck’s eight forward facing driving lights to light up a field for a helicopter landing zone.
1. You give terminally ill kids horse rides.