I was going to do something about my apathy, but then I realized I didn’t give fuck.

JOIN BLOGZARRO’S FANTASY BASEBALL LEAGUE NOW!

Fantasy baseball season is here and Blogzarro is joining the fun. Of course, we’re going to do things in a Bizarro fashion. So the Blogzarro Ball League will reward failure, bad play, and general crapiness. Think the New York Mets in September 2007 and 2008. Hit a home run and points are deducted, blow a save and receive points. God forbid you pitch a perfect game (-100 points). But lose on a regular basis and you’ll be Blogzarro Ball champ in the end. That’s how we play in Blogzarro Land.

The league is open to anyone who wants to join.

There will be only 12 teams, but we’ll make room for more depending on the response. Once all the teams have joined, players will be auto-picked.

In order to join the league, follow the link below, click the “Sign Up Now” or “Get Another Team” button and follow the links to “Join a Custom League.” When prompted, enter the League ID# and password below.

Join Here: http://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com
Password: htrea
League ID#: 99935

So it’s Friday the 13th, a very unlucky day. Kinda like the day that guy went hunting with Dick Cheney.

Chris Brown has finally surfaced. He was spotted in a boxing gym training for his next girlfriend.

It was a gusty day in New York. So gusty that one of Donald Trump’s hairs actually moved.

Baseball commissioner Bud Selig says he might punish Alex Rodriguez for using steroids. But can you really punish a guy who’s already schtupping Madonna?

President Obama attended a ceremony the other night at Ford’s Theatre, where Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. I’m not saying Obama was paranoid. But he did spend much of his time there ducking and running in a zig-zag pattern.

(14 votes, average: 5.71 out of 10)
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Have you heard this ridiculous news out of the country music world?

In an interview with Playboy, Kenny Chesney says he’s not gay because he’s had sex with more than 100 women. Hmmm. Sounds like this guy’s trying hard to prove something.

But what the country singer fails to mention is that the women in question all had cocks big enough to choke a pony.

Kenny really believes that all the women he’s bagged proves once and for all that he’s not gay. I’ll be convinced when he stops sucking Toby Keith’s dick.

(16 votes, average: 6.25 out of 10)
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You really want to stimulate the economy? Auction off Bernie Madoff one ounce at a time.

(6 votes, average: 8.5 out of 10)
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Chris Brown missed the Grammys Sunday night after allegedly assaulting his girlfriend Rihanna. But it’s been announced that he’ll receive a special honor at next year’s ceremony — The Ike Turner Award for Career Suicide.

Porn Star Stormy Daniels is thinking about running for the U.S. Senate seat in Louisiana now held by Republican David Vitter. I’m all for it. Finally, we’d have a politician we want to screw us.

(6 votes, average: 7.83 out of 10)
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It’s been reported that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids in 2003. In his defense, A-Rod says the steroids only affected his ego.

Nadya Suleman, the mom of octuplets as well as six other children, now says she never meant to have so many kids. It turns out she’s just really bad with math.

Christian Bale has finally commented on his on-set hissy fit. He says he doesn’t know why it’s such a big deal — it’s not like he forgot to pay his taxes.

One good thing has come out of Michael Phelps’s suspension from swimming — now he can devote more time to his tribute band…Bong Jovi.

Have you heard Michael Phelps is being courted for a new T-V series? It’s a sitcom called The Bong Newhart Show. They also have a western in the works — that one’s called Bong-nanza. There’s even a reality show on the table…Toking With the Stars. But I think the winner is the urban-themed comedy they’re calling Really Good Times.

(6 votes, average: 7.17 out of 10)
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You always hear about little old ladies, but why don’t you ever hear about big old ladies?

Updating a previous Observation.

Today a woman actually said, “God bless you,” when I sneezed on the train. I was floored. So floored that I karate chopped the woman in the throat. And that, boys and girls, is why people don’t say “God bless you” on the train.

John McCain has been calling himself a maverick. So, I decided to look up the word in the dictionary. Turns out, maverick means “a crotchety douche-nozzle who thinks calling himself a noncomformist enough times makes him a noncomformist.”

My friend John Harlacher is scaring the urine out of folks in Miami with his Nightmare haunted house all this month. Check it out if you’re down there. If you can’t make it, check out this video.

How many serial killers do you think have gotten caught after murdering their first victim?

That has to be very disappointing for a budding serial killer. Forever you’d be known as just a “killer.”

Sarah Palin is locked and loaded!

Last Winning Caption: From Mister Sinister: “And that, Jimmy, is were the Rockies came from.”